On the other side

He had no idea about the consequences.
About the anger he had stored inside.
He was scared of himself. Of what he had become.

Once he was a moneymaker.
A well known taker and a fortune faker.
He thought he could turn his back and everything would go away.
But he was always concious of his guilt.
And it kept him with fear.

One day it just blew his mind out with a bang.
No more enchiladas.

Before the trenches

I think I have done my time.
Engaged, Enraged, Erased.

Now I am hungry for love.
Is this the last ditch? Is it the last?
Tell me that this is the last ditch!

Rain pouring down on a man walking by himself in Bagarmossen. In the green plastic bag he carried his companion for the day. His bottle.

The beauty of true love.

So people tell me I shouldn't worry.
There is a beauty out there who soon will embrace me.

I'm taking the long road but I will get there on time.
Shortcuts are the worse cuts.

What will become of you when you grow up?

I'm sorry. I'm not that stupid. I saw what you were trying to pull.
At the very last moment you wanted me to cave in. The dress, the music and the clean appartment. I saw it coming all the way. Experience makes you wise.

Leaning against a parked car

Life is good again. I'm on a roll,
I'm on a roll this time
I feel my luck could change.

Kill me Sarah,
kill me again with love,
it's gonna be a glorious day.

Pull me out of the aircrash,
Pull me out of the lake,
I'm your superhero,
we are standing on the edge.

In Stockholm I was asked some questions about how I dress. Check it out.

Shooting clay pigeons in Stockholm

Went to Stockholm for the weekend. Had a really nice time watching the game, drinking beer and shooting clay pigeons.

I am the greatest fool of all

I was pretty dedicated. I was stuck to the cause. I kept on think everything would work out fine. I jumped, I slipped, I fell. It was really nothing I coughed a little blood.

I let the engine running. I let it go all night. Then I got struck by lightning and everything went dark. I was on water, I skated on thin ice. I was only seven and I got knifed. My heart was excausted and I saw the sky explode.

The building was on fire. I was left inside. I could feel the pain but then there was nothing.

I heard your voice in the distance. I tried to fix the sound but my hands went numb. It was unbearable and I never saw the ban. Those pills went straight to my head. I never said goodbye. I just slowly went away. Maybe I am a fool, but I am the greatest fool of all.

The art of being nice

Things will definitely change over time and it is stupid to think that what is now is going to be the same in five years. I look at life as different chapters in a book. A chapter in my life has just ended and a new one is begining. If I would try to keep a chapter open in the future, that just might get written the way I want it to get written now, I am just beeing dishonest to myself. You cant step down in the same brook twice.

Somebody said "Life is too short to learn German" and I concur. Life is too short. But I think life can be twice as fullfilling if you share it with somebody you love. And I want a fullfilling life. Just like everybody else.

So to keep living my fullfilling life I am reading a book called "The art of beeing nice" (Konsten att vara snäll av Stefan Einhorn). Funny enough my mother gave me the book at the very moment I was begining to doubt if there ever is a meaning of being nice. I was begining to think that nice people never get what they want and that they just get used. But this is not true according to the book. A nice person is more likely to succeed because people want to work with them and they are kept as a kind of top-of-mind when it comes to people you want to keep contact with. So is it much harder being nice? I think so. It takes a lot more intelligence and strength because a nice person has to be careful of not getting used by others and at the same time be good at taking ethical decisions. An ethical decisions is based on knowledge of what is concidered right and wrong, being true to what you want, feeling empathy towards others and finally what the result will be of the decision.

The picture is of Karl and his wife at their swedish wedding. He invited me after not talking to each other for 15 years! We had no hard feelings it just became that way after we finished high school in Paris. Karl moved to the Phillipines (where he met his lovely wife) and I went back to Sweden. But still he remembered me after all those years and I was very happy to get the invitation to their wedding.

Chaos on the inside

This is what I look like on the inside. I am still doing the aftermath and trying to figure how the pieces used to fit.

This is the right thing to do.

Although it hurts like hell.
Goodbye my strawberry friend. You are the best.