Now I am back from outer space

Nice outfit.
I look a little bit like David Hasselhoff.

The best christmas gift ever

This year don't be surpized if you get a certificate that you have given a goat or a cow to a family in Ethiopia from me. I think it is the best christmas gift that I can think of.
If you think so too you can also do it here (in swedish).

In the shade of a palm tree.

Life is good at the moment.

Idea for a t-shirt

Got an idea for a t-shirt I just had to get down on papper.
What u stink?

Just like postcards from heaven.

I had a great time in Mauritius. Played tennis, golf, went sailing, went fishing for marlin and took a taxi ride with Jonny Abadabadu. It was just magic. Now I know what is on the other side.

I want to go back and start something there. The climate is good and the labour is cheap. I just need to save some money.

Going away for a while

I'll be in Mauritius for ten days and we are going to stay here. Seems pretty good. I'll show pictures when I get back.

Like birds in a cage.

I met you in my dreams last night. We had plans to eat lunch.
The first thing you asked me was why I was wearing my black coat. I was bewildered and wondered why the hell you cared about that. Did you still want to provoke me like you used to?

As we walked to the restaurant you told me that I was the best man in the world.
Then why the hell didn't you choose me. Why was the most rational thing to do suddenly so complicated. I knew that whatever you told me it wasn't the truth. You were never true to yourself and you didn't love yourself. That was the reason to why you criticized me. It made you feel better for the moment. It was your way of building up your confidence. And I just got weaker. I will never put myself in that situation again.

You changed your life forever from the moment you made up your mind.
And so did I.

A man of many colours

On friday I went and listened to Fredrik Lindström. He is doing a stand up comedy thing called "Swedes are people too". It was very good when he sheed some light on why we do certain things the way we do here in Sweden.

Saturday I went shoping. I was acctually thinking of not buying anything but when I noticed that the Holiday store was going to close here in Lund I had to buy a coat and a cardigan. So now I don't have a lot of money for Mauritius...

On Sunday I went to Helsingborg and went to the Stig Lindberg exhibition at Dunkers Kulturhus. It was well worth the visit. Especially the very sad exhibition by Anna von Brömssen about the death of a young boy. You get to follow him and the family, his last two months or so in life and even get to see his dead body in the coffin. It really left us with a lot of sadness but fortunately Stig put back the colours in our minds.
After that we ate at a lovely restaurant called Bonasera. Stuart Baxter with family sat beside us.

Waiting for that aeroplane to crash

You know I dreamed about for 29 years.
Before I met you.

Whats going on in the backyard?

Stars are falling.
Hitting all the houses. And all the houses are destroyed.
I can't breathe under all the rubble.

I am under a lot of stress right now and the stupid thing is that I am the one creating this environment. The good news is that Wraphouse bought the idea for the fotball poster.

But I still have a ton of other projects to be finnished. I wish I could buy more time because it is running out.

How about this?

Some days ago I mentioned that I was going to do a poster for Wraphouse here in Lund. I m going to try to get Abdo to go with this poster. I think it is hillarious and I think it is going to work. Any comments?

He must be straight... or?

Today I got an sms from Gustav who wanted to know if I would participate in an article for Dygnet Runt. All I had to do was to guess which of the 12 people in a line-up was either straight, gay or bi-sexual. I thought it was going to be fairly easy but when the shit hit the fan I was way of. I think I got 3 out of 12 right. The result will be published this thursday.

Easy as a sunday morning

I was very tired last night. Didn't even make it to the night club. Was the earth on fire or was it the sky? I dont remember. I was confused all day.
I sleept until late this lazy sunday morning. Today I actually got some things done. I went and bought some presents to people who have had their birthdays.

Equlibrium vs Delirium part 2

Same thing this week...

Monday: Went to work as usual and had a lot to do. I forgott my charger for the cellular at home so obviously it went low on battery. A guy from Anslut called and asked if I could help them do some material that they wanted to present to their customers. I am going to meet them on friday. Abdo from Wraphouse left a message and he wanted some posters infront of his restaurant. The posters should say that he would show the important fotball games on a big screen. So I thought I'd try a picture of a big mouth with a fotball stuck between the teeth and the text "Watch the big games while you eat" or something like that. In the evening I went to Form & Design Center to look att winners in Cannes. I met Owe from DN and some former collegues from SDS. After that I went back to work to try to do some ads for Lexington. I went home at 19 and found my parents in my apartment, cleaning the place. We ate at the Old Bull and I put my head on the pillow at 24.

Tuesday: It was chaos at work. We had to set the feeling for the coming season for Lexington before morning. This meant doing a catalog and some proposals for what kind of ads we should go with. It took us all day and all night. I put myself in a state of coma at 2.30.

Wednesday: Got to work at 10.30 and designed some posters and a sign. Met up with Mattias but I had forgotten the wedding pictures at home so we ate lunch instead. After work I went and picked up the visiting cards that I had designed for Skapha and also went to the gym. The sauna was perfect. There is no off position on the genious switch. But I am going try to shut it off anyway.
Last time I did a poster for Wraphouse about fotball I used this picture with the text "Tired of watching the games by yourself - you are most welcome to see them at our place".

Equlibrium vs Delirium

Friday: I finnished working late but managed to go to an after work before everybody had gone home. Took some beers and ate deep fried calamaries. Then we went to Koi just to find a girl there that I met two weeks ago. I didn't want to talk to her so I swiftly left her there on the bar stool. We were all pretty tired after a hellish week. Martin called and asked me to come to Lund because he was at a boring party with people from his class. So I met up with him and we left the party and met some people from Pavement at Stortorget. We had some beers and a nice time. I closed my eyes at 2.

Saturday: I woke up at 9 and went out to buy beer and return a movie that I rented three days ago. I had to pay an extra 40 kr for the damn thing. After that I went to Malmö and helped a good friend (Matti) to move. I had to leave early to go and watch the game (MFF - IFK Göteborg). After the game me and Jonatan took care of some business and ended up with a nice fish and chips at Stippes. Then we headed home to his place and got ready for Mattis home warming party. The house was great and we played table tennis in the backyard. It was just like being at a college party in the US. Matti gave us plenty of Fernet and beer. At 1 we took a taxi to Jeriko. I managed to get in without paying the entrance fee or the warderobe. At Jeriko I met a girl that I used to date and we spoke for a while. Mattias was in a good mood when I gave him the order for 6 beers. We finnished of the night at the illegal nightclub nearby. Got to bed at 5.

Sunday: Woke up with my parents outside my apartment at 11. We had made plans to move some of my stuff out of the apartment so that they could sell it this month. I was very hung over, tired and in a bad mood. Now I'm just going to try to write something on my blogg and maybe watch a movie.

Im going to have the time of my life

Drew a logotype for a movie production company in Stockholm today. I hope to god that they buy it. If the do I will show it here.
They wanted it to be like a whiskey bottle lable and I think I managed to pin down the feeling that they where looking for. Cause that is what I do, I work with my feelings. All the time I need to know how I feel, what I feel, what I should feel and most importantly what others feel. A good design gives you exactly the feeling that it is supposed to communicate. Sometimes it can be just the ordinary feelings like happy, hungry, bargain or quality. And somtimes it is supposed to give you a sense of image or a feeling of belonging to a groupe. The last ones are more difficult but often it is best to listen to the gut feeling. If you like it probably a lot of other people will too.

Took this photo in Tallin. I went to SEB today to fix my loans for the appartment I am buying. It is going to be a really nice place. I move there in febuary.

The Great Escape

I'm doing a music video and these are some screenshots. I will post it here later in the week when it is finnished. It is going to take me some time but I can promise that it is going to be really cool.

Song: The Lost Kid Office by the Bear Quartet.

I should have gone home earlier

Sometimes I have to remind myself of how I walked away with my clenched fist stuck deep in my pocket. When that happend I thought of giving up.

But I didn't. I thought it was all a test of my patience. Maybe it just made me uninteresting and pale. I don't really care. I think it's better than the fighting and the arguing.

Once I was a soldier

I met him just before the war. On my way to the border.
We had so much in common. The same boring upstart in middle class hell.

We were in the same unit, in the same uniform, in the same army.
In the chaos he disapeared and everything we had fought for seemed in vain. I lost a good friend and we lost the war. We all went home. Before the war we thought we would be heroes and save the world.

Four weeks ago I met him on the train to work. I barely recognized him. He was in a poor state. He told me he liked himself better when he was drunk. In a sober state he could feel fear and anxiety. He said he had been thinking a lot about going to therapy so I told him that I would listen.

Last night he told me that he thinks our sessions are good for him. And I told him I think it does me a lot of good too. He said he felt much better now but I know he was lying. There was still a lot of happiness leaking on the inside.

The wonders of the world

Its ice on a beach. It looks weird but I took it from above, straight down on the dark ice with sand inbetween.
That ice has some stories to tell. And maybe it's right, maybe we are in a terrarium. I can't imagine what I would do without food. We never think about how we would manage without water. I thought we had conquered the earth but it turns out I was wrong.

I know I said I would give up slowly but change fast. I feel I just have to change. The sunshine on my face fades when I get bad news. So I need to change.

Confessions of a weird mind

They have rearranged this monster put on a suit and tie.
They have made it to a concept so that sales would hit the sky.

I wonder if he ever thought about trying to phone her. I guess not.
He belived that love was a threat to society. That if he couldn't provide he would be left alone. For the moment he was unemployed.

When I spoke with him yesterday he said something that disturbed me.
"I try to be good, I try to help people in need. But then I close my eyes just like we close our borders to the third world. Who are we to give or take lives? The world is revolting and we are a part of the shit"

Party Monster

Maybe its a disco bloodbath your looking for.
Here's a hammer and follow that club kid.
It's the third door on the right.
You don't get famous if you don't try some.
And remember to give him the last trip.

Angel was resting in pieces in the tub.

Sometimes Michael would addmit the murder.
When he was on Special K with James St James.

I am a blind man

If your leaving close the door.
I am not expecting people anymore.

Here me greiving lying on the floor.
Whether I am dead or drunk I really aint too sure.

I am a blind man and my world is pale.

Had a friend once in a room.
Had a good time but it ended much too soon.

On a rainy night in that room.
Found a reason for the things we had to do.

I am a blind man and now my room is cold.

Drop me anywhere

Maybe you ask yourself is he dead or is he dizzy.
For I dont know. I think he is fine.
I think he is getting along.
Adjusting, making out and doing what everybody else is.

I think he is still in the grass. Like when he was 14.
He'd hear the trains. He'd hear the trucks.
He didn't know they would hurt him so bad.

And to all you fenceleaners: are you worth what you get paid? Or is it just fools gold? Yes its only fools gold so why should I bargain?

Curtain, applause, now don't expect any encores.

Thank you.

On the other side

He had no idea about the consequences.
About the anger he had stored inside.
He was scared of himself. Of what he had become.

Once he was a moneymaker.
A well known taker and a fortune faker.
He thought he could turn his back and everything would go away.
But he was always concious of his guilt.
And it kept him with fear.

One day it just blew his mind out with a bang.
No more enchiladas.

Before the trenches

I think I have done my time.
Engaged, Enraged, Erased.

Now I am hungry for love.
Is this the last ditch? Is it the last?
Tell me that this is the last ditch!

Rain pouring down on a man walking by himself in Bagarmossen. In the green plastic bag he carried his companion for the day. His bottle.

The beauty of true love.

So people tell me I shouldn't worry.
There is a beauty out there who soon will embrace me.

I'm taking the long road but I will get there on time.
Shortcuts are the worse cuts.

What will become of you when you grow up?

I'm sorry. I'm not that stupid. I saw what you were trying to pull.
At the very last moment you wanted me to cave in. The dress, the music and the clean appartment. I saw it coming all the way. Experience makes you wise.

Leaning against a parked car

Life is good again. I'm on a roll,
I'm on a roll this time
I feel my luck could change.

Kill me Sarah,
kill me again with love,
it's gonna be a glorious day.

Pull me out of the aircrash,
Pull me out of the lake,
I'm your superhero,
we are standing on the edge.

In Stockholm I was asked some questions about how I dress. Check it out.

Shooting clay pigeons in Stockholm

Went to Stockholm for the weekend. Had a really nice time watching the game, drinking beer and shooting clay pigeons.

I am the greatest fool of all

I was pretty dedicated. I was stuck to the cause. I kept on think everything would work out fine. I jumped, I slipped, I fell. It was really nothing I coughed a little blood.

I let the engine running. I let it go all night. Then I got struck by lightning and everything went dark. I was on water, I skated on thin ice. I was only seven and I got knifed. My heart was excausted and I saw the sky explode.

The building was on fire. I was left inside. I could feel the pain but then there was nothing.

I heard your voice in the distance. I tried to fix the sound but my hands went numb. It was unbearable and I never saw the ban. Those pills went straight to my head. I never said goodbye. I just slowly went away. Maybe I am a fool, but I am the greatest fool of all.

The art of being nice

Things will definitely change over time and it is stupid to think that what is now is going to be the same in five years. I look at life as different chapters in a book. A chapter in my life has just ended and a new one is begining. If I would try to keep a chapter open in the future, that just might get written the way I want it to get written now, I am just beeing dishonest to myself. You cant step down in the same brook twice.

Somebody said "Life is too short to learn German" and I concur. Life is too short. But I think life can be twice as fullfilling if you share it with somebody you love. And I want a fullfilling life. Just like everybody else.

So to keep living my fullfilling life I am reading a book called "The art of beeing nice" (Konsten att vara snäll av Stefan Einhorn). Funny enough my mother gave me the book at the very moment I was begining to doubt if there ever is a meaning of being nice. I was begining to think that nice people never get what they want and that they just get used. But this is not true according to the book. A nice person is more likely to succeed because people want to work with them and they are kept as a kind of top-of-mind when it comes to people you want to keep contact with. So is it much harder being nice? I think so. It takes a lot more intelligence and strength because a nice person has to be careful of not getting used by others and at the same time be good at taking ethical decisions. An ethical decisions is based on knowledge of what is concidered right and wrong, being true to what you want, feeling empathy towards others and finally what the result will be of the decision.

The picture is of Karl and his wife at their swedish wedding. He invited me after not talking to each other for 15 years! We had no hard feelings it just became that way after we finished high school in Paris. Karl moved to the Phillipines (where he met his lovely wife) and I went back to Sweden. But still he remembered me after all those years and I was very happy to get the invitation to their wedding.

Chaos on the inside

This is what I look like on the inside. I am still doing the aftermath and trying to figure how the pieces used to fit.

This is the right thing to do.

Although it hurts like hell.
Goodbye my strawberry friend. You are the best.

Stapelfestivalen

Some more pictures from Stapelbäddsparken